Teenagers

I still blog.

Well, sometimes.

But a lot of people don't know that.

Because it's private now.

I started having problems when I was talking about everything my kids did on the blog,

and then they were at school reading about themselves.

I mean, they maybe felt a little famous,

but I dare say they weren't hugely excited about me talking about everything that I want to remember.

Plus it's kind of weird when you pour your heart out on the internet

and then meet a stranger who read your thoughts.

Ok, ok, I'm acting like more than a handful of people actually read my blog,

they didn't,

but it still got a little weird.

I love to write though.

And this is how I remember things.

I make all my blogs into a family yearbook.

And I have them for when I'm old and gray and my kids don't remember

when I was young and fun.

I only wish I had 3 copies of each book, but those things are expensive.

Here's hoping that as adults they learn to share.

So far, not so good sharing in the teenage years.

In an effort to share just this post, I plan on making it public.

But I'm actually not sure if I know how to do that.

So we'll just have to see about that.

Teenagers.

I remember my mom telling me long ago that most people "really don't like teenagers"

and I could not for the life of me understand why.

In fact, I'm pretty sure my response was "why not? we are fun!"

And then I had teenagers of my own.

Y'all.

It's a daily struggle.

And the struggle is real.

Gone are the kids asking me to babysit their baby doll or read them a book.

Insert cranky teenagers who slam doors, steal my lipstick, and refuse to put the cap on the toothpaste.

Thank goodness God made me chubby,

because if they were stealing my clothes, we would have issues.

(well technically, I made myself chubby. I guess I should take credit for that.)

Life would be so easy if I just got to hang out with the teenagers.

I swear they might actually think I was fun if they were able to see that side of me.

But let's get one thing clear,

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND.

My job is to parent.

Sure, I can be your friend sometimes,

but deep down, I'm your mom.

It's my job, and there are no days off.

It's my job to tell you to shower because your feet smell so bad I can't enter your room.

It's my job to tell you that those shorts are entirely too short.

It's my job to tell you to turn that rap music off.

And it's my job to force you to load the dishwasher even if I take everything out and re-load it because I'm majorly psycho about how the dishes have to be in order.

When you make your bed, I cringe a little.

Because yes, you made your bed.

Great job.

But you do realize that the corners of the comforter go where the corners of your mattress are, right?

Or do you just do that to drive me insane?

And yes, you cleaned your room.

But don't think I didn't notice that you stuffed everything under your bed.

And I'm pretty sure the fleece pants that are in your laundry hamper weren't actually worn in the middle of August.

I see you.

I know what you are doing.

I was a teenager once too.

My mom knew nothing either.

Luckily I grew out of it.

And realized that my mom was an absolute genius.

Hopefully this will happen to you too.

I decided to write up a list of things that you should know.

Pretend like you just googled and found this list.

Not that your dreaded, know-nothing Mother wrote it.

Because clearly everything you google is true,

and strangers know more than your parents.

1. Boys will break your heart. And that's okay. You have to go through a few (sometimes A LOT) of duds to find the one you will love forever. But trust me when I tell you that the later in life that you find him, the better. Not for everyone, but for you, well it won't be easy to balance a boyfriend and medical school now, will it?

2. Mean girls are just plain mean. And they are out there. And they don't go away. Learn to ignore them, learn to pray for them. But most importantly, learn not to be one of them.

3. Don't be in a hurry to grow up. I know being an adult, living on your own with no nagging parents seems so glamorous. It's not. Sure, I can stay up late and eat ice cream for breakfast if I want. But I will pay for it. I'll be falling asleep at my desk the next day and that ice cream will go straight to my hips. Enjoy this time in your life. Also, take note that your iphone is way newer and nicer than mine. That should tell you exactly what mom life is really like.

4. Go to college. You will thank me later for this. Work hard, study hard, play hard (in that order). Do something that will make you proud to talk about at your high school reunion.

5. Develop a relationship with God. That starts now and never ends. Because people will fail you. Heck, I might fail you (hopefully not) but you can ALWAYS count on God. Plus He is watching you. Even when I'm not. Remember that. ;)

I wish I could save you from heartache. I wish I could teach you things that would make growing up easier. But for now, I can just share my knowledge with you, and hope you hear at least a tiny bit of what I have to say. And buy you your own lipstick so you stop using mine.

If we survive these teenage years,

I know I will miss them.

One day, your room will be empty.

The bed will be made just how I like it,

and all the clothes will be put away neatly.

And the house will be quiet.

And I will be missing you both like crazy.

Luckily I have another mini that will be in the house a lot longer....

But I will miss you.

And miss all the chaos.

And I won't enjoy sleeping in on the weekends.

Okay, well, that last line isn't completely true.

Love you twinsies.